Communication… all talk?

One of the main reasons for most failures in life’s journey is simply the lack of communication. Marriage, business, friendships, relationships and child rearing – none are immune from the curse that a breakdown in communication will produce.

Communication is the basic building block to a stronger marriage, business or  society.

Shane Drew has been involved in the sign industry since 1992. Before that he had a very successful career in sales, winning several Sales Awards before deciding on a career change in his early 30’s. Shane has been writing freelance articles since 2002 and is a sign industry mentor for sign shops both in Australia and Europe, is a regular contributor to Europe’s biggest sign industry forum, and is well known in local circles for his passion about the Australian Sign Industry. Shane is Managing Director of Drews Sign It Pty Ltd, a family business who are supporters of several major charities and not-for-profit organisations. A recent highlight is his appointment as a Green Guardian for his support of Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, on Queensland’s Southern Gold Coast.

Several years ago, The Independent in Britain stated that “All-day television, the demise of the family meal and even the forward-facing design of [strollers]” are inhibiting child-parent communication. One result is that children starting school “resort to tantrums” when they cannot express themselves.

Over 5 years ago, The Times of London reported “The prospect of a face-to-face conversation frightens many Britons because of their increasing dependence on modern technology” . A survey of 1,000 adults, conducted by British Gas, found that the average person spends just under four hours of his daily waking life “using technology originally intended to give people more time to themselves.” According to the report, “the average Briton spends 88 minutes a day on a landline telephone, a further 62 minutes on a mobile telephone, 53 minutes e-mailing and 22 minutes text messaging.” The survey concluded that communication skills, such as talking face-to-face, are damaged. Many of those surveyed admitted that they used text messaging “as a way of cutting out conversational frills or to avoid conversation altogether.”  Imagine how those figures have changed since the ease of social network sites like Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.

But, communication is more than getting a point across. Its also being a good listener. It is effectively a two way street.

In a businessman’s world, communication usually starts with the handshake. Eye contact, a firm grip, and listening to what the other guy has to say.

But, as a businessman, the total lack of communication skills from new job seekers drives me to distraction. They don’t look at you in the eye, they don’t understand tonal expression, and they can’t take criticism. Few understand the hierarchal pecking order in business either.

Youth today have no real idea how to physically communicate.

Sure, give them a new nokia or iphone mobile, an ipod connected to a social network, or an internet connection and they have no problems getting their point across, albeit with a total disregard to spelling.

But in the real world they flounder. They are unable to listen respectfully to someone talking about something that probably doesn’t interest them before their mind wanders and they go glassy eyed. Likely they’ll also forget what you have told them before they have reached the door.

In the real world, they struggle expressing themselves in a civil manner or tone. They have difficulty vocalising their views, if they actually have any views of their own.

Interestingly, in 2003, The Daily Yomiuri of Japan quoted a middle-school teacher in Osaka, who worried that because of mobile phones, “children are losing the ability to interpret the facial expressions, behaviour and tones of voice of others. A consequence of this is increased aggressiveness among children, coupled with a disregard for others’ feelings,” said the newspaper.

Sadly, we are now paying an expensive price for technology. This teacher in Osaka saw our life today!

I had a visit from some associates and their children recently. Throughout the whole 30 minute visit, the eldest child had earphones securely fixed in her ears and was in a world of her own. She made no contribution to the conversation, nor was she interested in what anyone had to say.

Point is, shutting themselves away with new technology is stunting their emotional growth, and is becoming typical of today’s generation.

These kids have missed the opportunity of getting a life lesson in communication. They have lost the opportunity to hear how others handle various experiences that they are yet to encounter. They have given up the opportunity to make an informed choice on their direction in life.

Now, as future employers, we are faced with a tide of school leavers who, for the most part, can’t concentrate, communicate or articulate.

I fear we need to get back to the basics of workplace communication before it is too late.

An article by Kundan Pandey on Buzzle.com gives this advice;

‘The art of communication is one of the distinctive attributes of the human species… Social scientists believe that communication and language have led to the intermingling of a plethora of religions, cultures and sciences all over the world. From the inception of the iron age to the blistering 21st century, communication techniques have assumed various forms. Be it the interpersonal relationships with our spouse, kids, parents and friends or the professional relationships in the workplace, effective communication tips are the key to success and ultimately happiness.

According to a study carried out by linguists, words just constitute 7% of the effective communication skills. Other elements of effective communication techniques, like body language, facial expressions, oration skills and confidence constitute, 93% of the effective communication skills.

1) One of the most effective communication tips is to let the others make their points and come up with issues that they think are necessary in order to solve the problem, first. If you don’t let the other party speak first, you may miss some important point. Besides that, the other party may think you are not considerate about their viewpoint and this can turn the communication to a wrong track. Don’t interrupt the person in between and start your own stream of arguments. Be it business communication or personal relationship communication, first let the other party speak. You will get chance to speak!

2) Listening is an essential part of every sphere of communication. Whether you are in a business meeting or are with your spouse, if you are not listening to their views (remember, ‘listening’ and not ‘hearing’) you may be wasting your time and also hampering a good relationship. Listen to the arguments and points put forward by the other person and then leave some time to think. If you can develop the ability to listen well, it’s like mastering a skill that will pay you rich dividends in the longer term of your career. Even in the corporate world, effective listening is of utmost importance.

3) Instead of beating about the bush and just trying to play a blame game, try to reach a decision. Present your concerns and feelings about the issue and then ask the person what are the common things on which we can take a common stand. It is better to finish the issue once instead of carrying the burden of it into the future. Analyze all the points and reach to a decision.

Effective workplace communication is an art that every employee must learn, in order to gel in a team and help the company grow to new heights. Workplaces are full of employees from different backgrounds and cultures and it is highly probable that there are differences of opinion. So, the crucial role of effective workplace communication becomes more important.’

The training has to start at home. Until we see a change in the communication skills of our kids, we are doomed to have job seekers who are simply drones, manipulated by electronic ’toys’ and stimulation.

Heaven help us all.

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